Heart Shaped Box- Nirvana
It's gotten dark in my mind. The streetlight tries in vain to penetrate through the sheet nailed to the wall. A semblance of privacy through bedding. I feel a tug on my heart as my eyelids are weighed down. Dreams beckon. Dreams call. And I respond.
Images flash by like a Dali movie falling apart into a Cocteau ocean. My mind forces me awake trying to make sense of thoughts that can't be expressed in language.
Stellar- Incubus
My mind settles into fleeting images that are snowflake memories caught on a summer breeze. Melting and flitting, coming then going. Dream-tongue out I try to grasp on to one single thought.
A breeze through my fingers and I give up, eyes closed again, sinking.
Hotel Song- Regina Spektor
My heart becomes irregular, slightly musical in it's beating. My limbs tremble with each pulse of blood, each slow and steady breath. I see faces from my childhood that I haven't thought of in two decades. Faces of friends that no longer have names or memorial actions.
I grow sad, thinking of fleeting time. My eyes open again.
Hickory Wind- Gillian Welch
I have a dog. In my dream. A giant dog, as tall as I am. A 6 foot-something black lab. He's angry, but not at me. There is blood on his neck, painted on his teeth. But I know it's just for show. It's one of those dreams of fear. Paralysis. Cold sweat. Screaming hearts. Yet, it's still somehow gentle, soothing. Impending death on a bed of feathers.
It's not an uncomfortable fear. It's a fear of change, sacrifice.
I pull out a tooth- blood the colour of rusted water pours into my hand.
I see a future in my reflection.
Landslide- Smashing Pumpkins
Ink pools from a cut in my tongue. Bitter. Warm. I spit but it hangs in the air in an ebony arc. I touch it. It sticks like tar and I pull strings down, making a harp with my fingertips.
It reflects like glass, shimmering under my breath.
I have become aware of my skeleton, my fingertips probing the hard bone around my eyes. Mortality pierces through the dream-blanket.
My eyes open.
Cologne Cerrone Houdini- Goldfrapp
My eyes close.
I feel as if I'm falling. I try to touch something stable, but my hands find nothing but air. I lean my head back and revel, letting the air caress my body. I fall.
I feel someone falling under me but I can't turn to see them.
But it's a comforting presence. I feel her hand on my shoulder and I smile.
Arms spread I don't care if I hit ground.
If the ground brings death- so be it.
At least I've had this freedom.
Human Racing- St. Vincent
It's a feeling of love that comes over. Light headed, heavy hearted. But no one else is around.
There is a piece of yarn on the ground. It's soft, red, it's love. Simple. Short. easy.
Bombs Over Baghdad- Outkast
There's a feeling of misplaced panic. tumult. A harlequin fury of sound and images.
I wake up. Breathing heavy.
Silver Coin- Angus and Julia Stone
I can see the dawn peeking through, staining my makeshift curtain with tarnished sunlight. Warmth spreads from my stomach and I fall back asleep. Rocking in a wooden boat, nothing but water surrounding. It's a good feeling. Watching clouds. The seagulls speaking Cantonese to each other as they circle above my head. I try and splash them with water.
Dog Roses- The Duke Spirit
Sirens go off behind my eyes as the alarm goes off. My life reflects Trump XII so the 11:30am alarm has no effect.
Drum beats.
Thumping.
My hear cried out and I bolt up in bed.
Afternoon sun bleeds onto my skin.
It's time to wake up and sleepwalk through yet another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment